Senses.

"What you do speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hear:

Music. It's a part of my DNA. From spending years in a touring band and creating music to the sounds I hear when I'm outdoors, to a self-described addict to new sounds and rhythms - I spend the majority of my days listening.

When I listen to music, it takes me back to specific chapters in my life, it ties me to people, moments, and experiences. It stirs up emotions both light and heavy - good and sad. I see music as bookmarks in my life's chapters and also the light that ignites.

When I listen to people - it's merely a first pass. I almost never let listening to people be the standalone sense. I observe. I listen to what is said and not said. I watch for the actions (or inactions) that follow. That speaks much more loudly than any words being said or screamed into my ears. In that sense, words are cheap. And, this is why consistency in action is rare and important.

See:

Some describe me as an extrovert...which is accurate and true; I get energy from the people around me. That said, I'm also a deep observer and my intuition and gut feelings are almost always dialed in and right.

As a true Virgo, not only are my intuition and built-in lie detector on point, I have an uncanny read on situations and people. I stay silent while listening & observing, letting folks say what they need to say, but my gut never lies and I'm almost always right.

Smell:

I'm a walking lie detector. I can sniff any level of bullshit almost immediately - even when people lie to themselves. Most of the time, I won't say much or call it out (unless absolutely necessary) and let people do what they do while knowing full well what's truly going on.

Touch:

Emotions:

It is so incredibly rare when anyone can deeply affect me and reach deep beyond my chest bone. And it's not because of some weird ego-driven statement or fact; I just know how particular I am by nature. I have incredibly high standards - especially for myself (and that sometimes comes with disappointment) in addition to my attention to detail. I'm aware that it is incredibly hard to, not only get my attention, but to keep it.

It's so rare when that happens...when I let my guard down, when I actually want to give so much of my focus, time, energy, thoughts, attention and intention to someone. And, because it's truly so rare, I try not to take it for granted when someone actually has the ability to take me there.

Tactile:

Dear Jesus, I love textures and learning how things react to touch - how I react to touch. This includes, but not limited to, the human body (that just happens to be one of my favorites). But this also holds true for physical objects. Ironically, I hate having sticky or dirty hands (sex excluded. TMI, but I'll carry a woman's scent with me all day to revisit throughout my day. Dear God, it's a weakness. Ugh, so good.) Otherwise, I'm that person that washes their hands in the kitchen after touching each ingredient.

...I digress...

Speak:

Communication is paramount to who I am and how I move in the world. The mouth combines what I hear, see and suss out. Most people know:

• I'm HUGE on honest communication.

• I don't shy away from hard conversations - rather, prefer & welcome it. But they have to be honest and with integrity and vulnerability. Otherwise, you're wasting my time.

• What I say, I mean and is always validated by my actions.

• I keep my word.

---

People will always do what they will do, myself included. The thing we should be paying attention to are those things - not the just the words coming out of someone's mouth. Words have impact. They can also easily be categorized in the "noise" bucket. It all depends.

I always give the benefit of the doubt - always. But when people show you who they are (by their actions), believe them the first time. It doesn't need to be anything dramatic in terms of what happens next. I'm a firm believer of "let them." Understand people will always choose and do what they feel is advantageous for them...sometimes keeping others in mind and sometimes not depending on what their priorities are in their lives. And people, ourselves included, should always have the freedom to make their/our own choices.

That said, this can inform you on your own decisions and path. I'm not a fan of dramatics. Similar to my home environment, I like to keep my business and personal life neat and tidy. Sloppy and messy are turn-offs and I navigate my life away from those things.

I recently had a big hiccup that set me back, what felt like, 5,000,000 steps. After a day or 2 of sitting with things and conferring / validating with friends and therapist, I handled the situation in a way that feels congruent to who I am and made choices that advocate for what I want (and don't) in my life.

Choose and surround yourself with people that make you feel safe.

I didn't deserve this.

Life doesn't have to be explosive. Feelings are valid. The bare minimum is not a noble act. Observe but don't absorb. Watch, listen and let people inform you.

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. - Maya Angelou