Movement.

“No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.” —Buddha

I think I sat down and started to (try to) write this weeks ago. So much has happened between now and then. That said, what has predominantly and repeatedly stood out is the volume of micro moments of gratitude...true gratitude. The kind where I don't consciously stop myself to say thanks. It's the unconscious type of gratitude that momentarily pauses me in whatever I'm doing in that moment and really feeling grateful.

...and I love it.

Micro moments like feeling the vibe and energy of my living room coming together by way of lamps vs overhead lights...or central heating running through the vents while I cozy up under a plush blanket on my couch. Hell, just having my couch back in my living room has been fucking awesome.

I've spent the last (almost) year in grey spaces in so many ways. Started first with splitting time traveling 500+ miles between 2 apts while paying for 2 spaces, to landing full time in a sublet, navigating the wildfires that can be seen from my sublet's front door, evacuating, to finally back in a space of my own again.

I didn't realize how ungrounded I felt. At first, it was all about options. I wasn't ready to lose my experiences and deep ties to the Bay while simultaneously wanting to eat up all the new experiences that LA could offer me. While it was fun and served its purpose, what I learned was -

When everything is important, nothing is important.

Finally settling in and grounding myself in everything that is solely mine is helping me see, manage, and feel things a bit more clearly. There is a higher level of agency and independence in finally "landing". I can say, I love my space. I'm not even remotely close to putting it all together. But just the pure energy in the space feels so good and positive.

Maybe I was holding on and grasping onto things I normally wouldn't have because I had nothing to hold onto (if that makes sense.) I wasn't grounded and didn't feel like I had a full range of freedom being that all of my stuff was in a storage unit and also being extra mindful of someone else's things while occupying their space. The sublet was so cute and quaint.

But it wasn't mine.

The freedom (and excitement) I have in having people over and entertaining has been really fun to think about and experience. Interestingly enough, the one thing I have been craving to do is having someone over to do nothing with. I cook for us, serve the meal, and just spend some time watching some garbage tv and yelling at the screen together. It'll come, but that is the one daydream that keeps replaying.

All this to simply say, I'm so happy and grateful the pieces are feeling like they're all falling into place while also still looking forward to the excitement of what's to come. I've said it so many times already, but there is some good energy I'm feeling, circulating. And I'm feeding into it and nurturing it.

I am super grateful for feeling way more grounded which allows me to think and see things much more clearly.

Gonna keep throwing the good energy out there.